So I was in the tunnel
It was dark
I felt my Spideycorn tremble in my pocket
Like it was sensing something evil
In the tunnel
And it wasn't wrong
Coz very soon

A dark shadow
Appeared in front of me
It was approaching me
I tried to grasp my sword
Which I
Then I realized I had forgotten in the forest
So I
I took out my wand

But I was too slow
My wand was dropped
And the next thing I know
This person was
Raising its
Raising its
Raising its, um... walking stick?
It said:

"You, fool, who enters my realm!
You, fool, will meet a horrible end!
Stand back!
Go back where you belong!
You shall not pass!!"

"Um, dude, wrong movie"

"Uhh, I know
I just like doing that
It's kind of boring alone
Abandoned by your brother
Who is the awesomest wizard of the fricking world
I don't think so, but he think so
And everyone else think so
So, like, what I
What I say doesn't, it doesn't fricking matter
Never mattered
It never mattered when he
He did what he did
He loved that dude
He wanted to be with that dude
Well, I have nothing against with him being…
Well I have nothing against with him having intimate relationships with that dude
But seriously, the dude was Crazee
And that dude made him crazy, too"

"Okay, I don't really know what you're talking about but…Who are you?"

"Well, you state your name first, boy"

"I'm Neville Longbottom
Neville Big Longbottom
Like, you can call me Big
Coz that's pretty much what I like to be called but no one does it coz I'm kind of a loser in the school and"

"Yea, okay, tell your worries to Merlin coz I don't care
My name is Aberforth
Aberforth Dumbledore"

"Wow! You're a Dumbledore
I mean… Wow, you're a Dumbledore"

"Yea, I'm a Dumbledore
Wonder why no one has ever heard of me?
Coz my selfish idiot brother steals the spotlight
Every fricking time"

"Oh, I'm sorry
You know, I totally understand
Coz in the school, there's that Harry Potter
And everyone thinks he's awesome
And he kinda gets all the attention
And nobody
Nobody ever
Ever notices me
And I w…"

"Boy, didn't I tell you to not start opening up to me?
I mean, you're just a kid
What do you know about life?
And suffering?"

"Well, I…"

"Yea yea, whatever
So what are you doing in this tunnel at this time of night?"
You're not supposed to be here
It's dangerous
I guess I have to take you with me
Coz otherwise my Brothaa will come
And yap and yap and yap to me
About how I let one his students
Wandering in the dark tunnel at night
So, come now, boy
We're going to the Hog's Head"

"Ha, yo, Hog's Head!
I'm gonna drink, like
10 butterbeers
And then like
5 firwhiskeys
And then like…"

"Boy, you're not gonna drink anything
You're a kid
And I own the place
Now c'mon
I've wasted enough time"

The man turned around
And started walking
But I didn't follow him
I picked my wand off the ground
And yelled:

"Ridiculus!"

And yelled another "Ridiculus!"

And yelled a third "Ri-di-culous!"

He fell on his knees
Laughing like a madman
I ran
Ran past him
All the way to the Hog's Head

And I poured myself
A firewhiskey
Another firewhiskey
A third firewhiskey
A fourth firewh–isk-ee
A fi..fifth firewhiskee
A si… I don't…
I'm not sure how many firewhiskeys I kinda..
I'm.. dr.. unk like um like oh

Oh, you're so cute, baby
You're so cute
You're so sw… You're totally
You're totally awesome and I like
I like you're totally.. ju… suc..such a great dude like like
Like like
I love you man
I love you

*snores*

"Ugh.. Eh… Get off
Get off!
Get off my face!
Whatta fuck
Whatta fuck"

"Hahahaha"

"Whatta fuck are you doing man??"

"Hahahahaha"

"I was having a great time"

"Whatta fuuuck"

"Ahahahahaha"

"Ron, man
What's so funny?
Ron, man whatta fuck did you do man??"

"You might wanna check the mirror"

"Whatta fuuuuuu "

"Hahahaha

Neville is an idiot
He tries to be so cool
But Neville stays an idiot
He ends up looking like a fool

Every night he dreams
Of going on some stupid adventures
But tonight he screams
Coz we put
We put
Chocolate Frogs in his hair
Chocolate Frogs in his hair
Chocolate Frogs in his hair

He's got Chocolate Frogs in his hair
He's got Chocolate Frogs stuck in his hair
He's got Chocolate Frogs stuck in his hair
He's got Chocolate Frogs smashed in his hair

Hahaha Neville sucks"